The sweetest things in life, aren't things......

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Month O' Love

I am going to say first off, that I am NO expert on LOVE!
My relationship IS Not perfect.
We are a normal couple.
We fight, we bicker, we annoy each other.
We laugh, we play, we find joy.

Over the last nine years we have found certain things that work well to help strengthen our love, marriage, and friendship!
So this post is based off of Beau and I , and my opinions.
I am not telling you this to put us on a pedistole at all. 
In fact it is just the opposite. I am telling you because I have had nothing but a positive experience with it!
It is also because I feel so strongly that marriage is sooo worth the fight.
So worth investing our time and effort into!
So if you disagree please don't take offense and know again that I am NOT an expert.

Keeping the Love ALIVE
Truthfully this can boil down to lots of  little things but for us mostly

Date Nights are virtually important for a husband and wife to grow and continue to put each others needs first.
We do need time away from our children to strengthen and connect as a couple.
I hear all the time "But we can't afford a babysitter!"
Sorry people this ANNOYS me.
Isn't every penny invested in your marriage worth it?
You don't have to "GO OUT" to go on a date!
In fact Beau and I only go out 1-2 times a month (if that) and not for very long because paying a babysitter is pricey and let's just face the facts, we don't own a money tree!
But we make it a point to choose a day, once a week, and do something together.
It can be going out, playing a board game, watching a movie, ordering something out for the two of us and eating it at home, building things, laughing, joking, bbqing, going over goals, talking about better ways to parent, just ANYTHING that the two of you can do together!

On the days we choose to stay home, usually a Friday,  we put the kiddos upstairs early.
I have a few movies picked out for them, some treats, and games. Stuff to keep them occupied so that they don't distract us.
I try to make it fun for them. We call Friday nights at our house "Friday Night Late Night".
This is the night that they get to stay up as late as they want. Making it a fun night for them also, helps them to stay upstairs rather than being downstairs with us.
They are so absorbed in having a fun night too!

I was watching Studio 5 awhile ago (thanks you Farah for totally getting me hooked) and they had this mom on there with a dating contract she had come up with. She called it Project 52 : Dating your spouse.
She gives contingencies to her project about dating. And asks us to commit ourselves to dating our spouse faithfully if we are not already.
Although Beau and I , are fairly consistent, we forget sometimes too.
Plus she brought up the fact that each date needed to be different within the month.
That is a challenge.
I am soooo on board!

So I challenge you to also look over the contract and commit to dating your spouse more faithfully.
Make it fun and exciting.
It really doesn't take long to fall in love even more!

I found a talk from the 1991 issue of the Ensign called Date Night at Home and loved it!

I truthfully believe that although we are still imperfect and will still fight and bicker like any other couple, our marriage has been strengthened through dating each other. Through getting dressed up and making our evening special.
Just about the two of us!
Sometimes by ourselves or with other adults.

I would love to hear who wants to take this challenge also .
And I would love to hear positive experience with date night and some of the fun dates you have planned!
Let's get this month of LOVE to continue all year long!


connie said...

Bon, with our work schedules and all of the teenagers (and above)in our home, Ron and I rarely get time to ourselves. We have been working harder on at least a monthly date and not quarterly. So the challenge intrigues me. I will share the one thing that we do to stay close, we always hold hands where ever we are. This seems to keep us connected, and we try to leave all kids home when we go get groceries. Then we have time to talk without interruptions. I'm going to talk to the man about the challenge. We'll be keeping in touch with you and Beau. Thanks for the wonderful idea!

Steve, Dayna and Kids said...

That actually sounds like a good idea Bon I think we might do it too when I get feeling better. Also I have heard of people trading off with other "friend" couple's when they want their "date night" which would probably work too but until I'm up to full par it's gonna be date night in the bedroom laying on the bed watching a movie HAH! And BTW I have already told you this but I want others to hear it too or rather "read" it lol I think we ALL know that you are human and your posts that you post are of the fun, positive things, things you want to look back on and remember not only too to just focus on the positive too many of us focus too much on the negative and I am 100% guilty of that too but I love to hear your positive thoughts and the wonderful things you are doing with your fam!

Monica said...

Thanks for the post. I love date nights! Sometimes it is just a matter of going grocery shopping together. We don’t always have time every week but we try to do what we can when we can. With Chris traveling for work, going to school and then I work weekend graveyards some weeks we are just grateful for family dinners. You are right marriage is so hard at times but so worth it!!

Hans, Shell, Gabe, Hiett and Sunny Sunflower said...

I love this idea!!!! Not just date nights but making sure that each of the dates are different within the month!! Pure genius! You can only watch so many movies, right? I love it Bon! THanks for spurring this old horse into action---

chrisnbri said...

Definately up for the challenge!Sometimes we let our lives get so busy that we don't take time for the things that are most important to us!

Kristin said...

I love this Bon!! One of our resolutions this year was to have more date nights.

Taylor Fam said...

date nights with Brett are what I look forward to the most! We need to plan a huge group date night one of these weekends where we all just go to dinner or something. I love the idea about sending the kids to have their own fun night and then it's just the two of you without having to break the bank!

Genessa said...

I love this idea! We seemed to get so caught up in our every day lives that we forget to take time out to ourselves. Thanks Bonnie I am on board!

Jenna said...

We have fallen out of the habit and I think this is a great idea! No need to worry about offending - silly girl!! thanks for the extra inspiration.

Farah said...

Thanks Bonnie!
Studio 5 got me too. "The way to strengthen our country is through strengthening our own marriage."

We are not so good at date night, but we love to be together. We have t.v shows we record and watch after monster is in bed. We go on every errand we can together. Sometimes we just go for a coke and drag main (might have to be from cedar to enjoy that). We do try and share interests.
Recommending a book to His Needs Her Needs by Harley.
Can't wait for the new 52!

Ron and Connie said...

I talked to Ron about the challenge today.......and you can count us in. It will be interesting to see what we can come up with. Thanks again Bon!

jamck11 said...

I am totally on board! Jeff and I are "creatures of habit" so for our date nights I am going to make sure and mix things up and do different things. Thanks for your great friendship and fresh ideas!

Anderton7 said...

Bonnie- I swear you wrote that completely just for me. I know you didn't but it sure seemed like it. I'm going to talk to Michael and see what we can do!! I love that idea, sounds like EXACTLY what we need!! Thanks for the inspiration!!

The Cutlers said...

I love going on quick dates... sometimes they turn out to be more fun and jam packed with conversation and important things because you know the time is short... Drew and I love Dairy Queen pepsi in Rexburg. So we go on a drive several nights a week for ten minutes and get a pepsi. I love it. We also leave each other notes in random places and I think that helps us be connected through out the week or month when we find little notes here or there for eachother. You're the best