Life is so complicated right now.
We got offered a job transfer from Beau's work to go back to Idaho Falls, Idaho. We are excited, scared, anxious, nervous, stressed, you name it.
It is funny how life plays out. How just when you think you have it all figured out, you are thrown a curve ball and you realize that the Lord knows best. I was just telling Beau a few months ago how content and comfortable I felt. Our home was finally feeling more finished, our yard was finally all done, and life has been beautifully wonderful here in Cedar City. I guess I should have known that it is usually when you are "comfortable" that things often change.
This process and move is all happening so fast. Beau has to move there in less than two weeks, we need to sell or rent our home, and me and the kids, well, we still aren't sure when we will be following. It has been easy, through this fast process, to feel discouraged or to let my fears rule me.
We are so EXCITED to live by family. That is by far the biggest perk. But all the little things that need to be done are overwhelming. I will admit that I have done my fair share of crying, stressing, and really just feeling so scared.
I was having one of my meltdowns telling Beau "what if this...and what if that" and he gave me the most sound piece of advice. He said to me "Bonnie I have stepped out into the darkness enough times in my life to know that we will land. We have to take that leap of faith and just do it." I sat and thought about that for a long while and realized that he was completely right. If the Lord wants or needs us in Idaho, then who am I to think I must know better. Or who am I to not put my "shoulder to the wheel" and just enjoy the process no matter how scary it may seem. My dad also gave me some advice and told me that "Faith and fear cannot co-exists. Let your fears go."
It is funny how when I made the conscious choice to just have faith how quickly I could see the Lord's hand in all of this. It hasn't magically made it easier, or magically made our home sell, but by recognizing His will I have received comfort, peace, and perfect clarity of mind in the toughs moments I have needed it most!
It never ceases to amaze me that through all of my doubts and fears that our Heavenly Father has always been by our side.
I am so imperfect. I realize how often I must seem so ungrateful.
But when I sit down and choose to enjoy life, I am always amazed that through all of my doubts, fears, and imperfections....I still feel so OVERWHELMINGLY blessed. That the Lord still loves me and forgives me. And quietly teaches me through the Holy Ghost.
We are excited for the new adventures we get to have. We are grateful for this blessing and for our job.
We have been away from family for almost 8 years. It has flown by and I still can't believe how quickly life has been passing by. We will miss our beautiful home, wonderful friends, and Cedar City so much!
Our family has grown and learned so much! I wouldn't trade my experiences in Cedar for anything. We have been blessed with so many wonderful peoples examples while we have lived here.
We are definitely going to miss it here!
And like Beau told me...I am just gonna take that step out into the darkness, no matter how hard it is to leave some of the people we love, and just have faith!