Saying Goodbye

The hardest part of moving is saying goodbye. We have so many good friends here, really they are more like family, and saying goodbye seems unbearable. 

We were lucky enough to have our good friends Shelly and Hans stop by to say goodbye to us. They had moved away awhile back, but we have remained friends and have missed them terribly. I have so many emotions through this fast process. Cedar will always keep a piece of my heart. 

We have also spent every free second we have had with our friends Ana and Jake. They have been our family here. It has been so wonderful to have their help through this process as well. We will miss them so much!

At least I get to take this handsome guy with me!!

Overwhelmingly Blessed

Life is so complicated right now. 

We got offered a job transfer from Beau's work to go back to Idaho Falls, Idaho. We are excited, scared, anxious, nervous, stressed, you name it.

 It is funny how life plays out. How just when you think you have it all figured out, you are thrown a curve ball and you realize that the Lord knows best. I was just telling Beau a few months ago how content and comfortable I felt. Our home was finally feeling more finished, our yard was finally all done, and life has been beautifully wonderful here in Cedar City. I guess I should have known that it is usually when you are "comfortable"  that things often change. 

This process and move is all happening so fast. Beau has to move there in less than two weeks, we need to sell or rent our home, and me and the kids, well, we still aren't sure when we will be following. It has been easy, through this fast process, to feel discouraged or to let my fears rule me. 

We are so EXCITED to live by family. That is by far the biggest perk. But all the little things that need to be done are overwhelming. I will admit that I have done my fair share of crying, stressing, and really just feeling so scared. 

I was having one of my meltdowns telling Beau "what if this...and what if that" and he gave me the most sound piece of advice. He said to me "Bonnie I have stepped out into the darkness enough times in my life to know that we will land. We have to take that leap of faith and just do it."   I sat and thought about that for a long while and realized that he was completely right. If the Lord wants or needs us in Idaho, then who am I to think I must know better. Or who am I to not put my "shoulder to the wheel" and just enjoy the process no matter how scary it may seem. My dad also gave me some advice and told me that "Faith and fear cannot co-exists. Let your fears go." 

It is funny how when I made the conscious choice to just have faith how quickly I could see the Lord's hand in all of this. It hasn't magically made it easier, or magically made our home sell, but by recognizing His will I have received comfort, peace, and perfect clarity of mind in the toughs moments I have needed it most!

It never ceases to amaze me that through all of my doubts and fears that our Heavenly Father has always been by our side. 

I am so imperfect. I realize how often I must seem so ungrateful. 

But when I sit down and choose to enjoy life, I am always  amazed that through all of my doubts, fears, and imperfections....I still feel so OVERWHELMINGLY blessed. That the Lord still loves me and forgives me. And quietly teaches me through the Holy Ghost.

We are excited for the new adventures we get to have. We are grateful for this blessing and for our job. 

We have been away from family for almost 8 years. It has flown by and I still can't believe how quickly life has been passing by. We will miss our beautiful home, wonderful friends, and Cedar City so much!

Our family has grown and learned so much! I wouldn't trade my experiences in Cedar for anything. We have been blessed with so many wonderful peoples examples while we have lived here. 

We are definitely going to miss it here!

And like Beau told me...I am just gonna take that step out into the darkness, no matter how hard it is to leave some of the people we love, and just have faith!

Thanksgiving with the Terrill's

It has been so lovely to have the Terrill family come to visit. They have been so helpful to us in our rushed moving process. I don't know what we would do without them. This decision to move has been exciting, scary, nerve wrecking, and life changing. 

I have not been sure whether or not to go with Beau to Idaho or wait until the kids get out of school. But it has been nice to have Hanna and Chris' advise to help me make my decision to move with him. We have, literally, just a couple weeks to pack everything up. They brought a trailer with them to haul stuff back and have also made the decision to come back in two weeks to help us haul everything we possibly can. I feel like I am in "zombie mode". Everything is happening so quickly, but having our family here to help us with all the work and emotions has been incredibly comforting in such a chaotic time. I am overwhelmed with their kindness and willingness to help us. 

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Thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday. We have so much to be grateful for this year. We are grateful to be closer to family. We are grateful for Hanna and Chris' service towards us. We are grateful for the Lord's hand in guiding us to Cedar. We have so many wonderful friends here and such wonderful memories. We feel blessed for the Lord's hand in our lives continually. And we are grateful for this new opportunity to move back closer to family.

Regardless of our around the clock working, we were able to still enjoy a holiday feast and the love that it felt this time of year.

Yes, our hearts are full.

What is Thanksgiving without Turkey Bowl to start out the morning. Chris was the star player. Beau hurt his back so was unable to play this year.

Caleb is a great athlete.

Beau enjoyed hanging out with his buddy and watching from the sidelines.

We were so excited to deep fry a turkey for the Terrill family this year. Beau has practiced a few times to perfect it, and YUM. There is nothing more delish than fried turkey.

Chris was helpful with showcasing the oil in a "model like" fashion. {haha}

Hanna and I worked hard on all the fixings and setting up the tablescape.

Do you think these two are excited? {haha}

 Cheers!

Of course, there has to be a little weirdness and humor to our day!

The kids enjoyed the day so much. They had spent hours building their "shops" {from our moving boxes} while the adults cooked. They spent the rest of the evening {and weekend, I might add} enjoying themselves out front. 

Silence can be Misleading

Sometimes when cousins/besties get together and they are quiet ,this happens-

Good thing they are both adorable.

 It makes it hard not to laugh and embrace the permenant marker!

Life Changes

We have been offered a job in Idaho Falls and will be moving
 The manager called Beau up and really wants him there. It instantly felt so right for Beau. He barely needed to give it a second thought before his mind was made up. For me, it has been a slower process. I DO want to move closer to family. But I feel like our life in Cedar has been very blessed and comfortable. I had just mentioned to Beau that I "was so content here." It is funny how Heavenly Father's plan, is often times, not "my" plan. 

I have outweighed all of the pros and cons. It seems like moving has way more cons than pros, but three pros far outweigh the many cons. We will be closer to family, to enjoy them, to help out, and to have them part of our lives more. We will also be in a better position for lay offs, so that is a definite pro. And Beau will be home more often, a very good pro as well. 

The cons will be financially taxing. We bought our home when the market was high. So we fear we will be stuck in it forever. It can deplete our savings if it doesn't sale quickly. We also will have to live and depend on family while we figure out a home situation on Idaho. I have never been very good at asking for help, so that will be hard.  We can't make a gazillion trips to move, so I will have to leave behind a lot and also sale a lot. I need to decide whether to go with Beau {we have a month to get there-super fast, I know!} or if I should stay behind and let the kids finish school. There is so much to think about and do, it feels a bit overwhelming.

I will admit I have drug my heels to pray about it. I think deep down I knew the Lord's hand was in all of this, but I was reluctant to ask Him for awhile. Now that I have, I know this is the BEST thing for our family at this time of our lives. I had a strong impression, when praying, that it was going to be tough but that it would be WORTH it. I am not sure what that feeling means, but I know I need to trust the Lord and take that leap of faith to know that He has always steered the ship of our lives into the BEST course, no matter how difficult or rocky the ride.

This new little adventure is exciting and equally hard. I wish we could just scoop up all of the people we love and take them with us. There are so many people we will miss terribly. And this area has been such a beautiful place to live. The Lord's hand guided us here and we will always be grateful for that! 

I love my kids

I love my kiddos so much.

These three had a fun evening playing and making one another laugh! 

Silly kiddos

Red Creek

I have such an anxious personality. I HATE that about myself. I worry about everything. I over analyze EVERYTHING to the point I drive myself crazy. 

Thank goodness my husband knows me so well. He can always tell when I am stressing. { I am sure  the high shrieking octaves I can reach, when I yell, have nothing to do with it. Yep. You read it right, I yell. Sometimes I even throw an adult size tantrum.} I have had so much on my mind lately. My photography business has boomed. I am loving every second of it, but the stress of editing and balancing my family and work is starting to take a tole. There is a possible life changing opportunity we are considering, long hours for Beau at work, and just the stresses of taking care of 5 kiddos. So Beau suggested a drive to Red Creek. And whenever anything involves the outdoors, I am on board 100%. 

Red Creek is beautiful. It isn't that long of a drive either.

 The kids like to explore, get dirty, find all sorts of nonsense that they insist on bringing home, and play hard while they are outdoors.

Lukas was so excited about this stick.

 Of course before they head off to play I have to snap a picture. Can you tell they all have their "hurry up mom" faces on?

 The kids find a million insects and want me to take pictures of them all.

We thought this hopper was pretty cool.

 What is a drive without a watermelon eating contest?

Caleb ended up winning. That boy can eat!

This was a great way to unwind and take my mind off of life.

 We got home and I was instantly thinking "When can we go again?"

To bad the calm and serene of the mountains can't follow me home.

The second I walk through the door I am back to worrying.

Wretched Anxiety.

Scarlett

She is 5 1/2 months already. Where is the time going?

I think because she is my last I am holding on to her baby stage as long as I possibly can. 

This stage goes by way too quickly. There isn't enough snuggling before they become independent and want to be down wandering around.

She is loved, adored, cuddled, and smothered. 

Everything I would expect she would be because of her 4 older siblings.

And some in her blessing dress too!

My mom made this in a couple hours. No pattern, just pure talent. She is an amazing seamstress. A talent I wish I possessed but I didn't get even an inch of it.